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Showing posts from October, 2017

ENJOY YOURSELF

As I lay in bed one Sunday morning, smoking a cigar and drinking beer, I thought to myself: This day is not going according to plan. I had determined to get up early, and after taking the dog for a walk and having something light and nutritious to eat, head out for a light 5-mile run and follow this with a bike ride through the hills. This is my usual Sunday routine. I had walked the dog and eaten several small oranges for breakfast, only to have this stinking desire to consume some ice cold beer. Not having any beer, I was impelled to the market to buy some. And as I lay in bed drinking the beer, which seemed to pair nicely with a Partagas cigar I had lying around, I noticed that it was not yet 11 in the morning. And after a moment's hesitation, I let out a sigh and, as if to dispel guilt at the fact that it was not yet 11 in the morning and I was having a cigar and drinking beer, said aloud: "Relax. Just enjoy yourself."

Nobody was in the room with me.

Why did I need to …

SO MANY SODOMS

Often while riding my bike I encounter some of the biggest estates in L.A. I choose these neighborhoods because they are scenic and green, with few intersections and almost no traffic - and also because I live nearby. Among these marvels of modern architecture is a $30 million mansion, which includes 12 bedrooms. What family could possibly use so many rooms? This is not Utah. There are no Mormons here. The house has been on the market now for 3 years, proving I'm not crazy.

Around the bend, a gentleman is building an indoor garage to house his 4 luxury vehicles, among which is a Ferrari, an Audi and a Land Rover. The gentleman in question lives on his own and is never home. How could he possibly find time to drive so many automobiles? True, we live in the technological age. Perhaps he has put himself first on the list of self-clones. Whenever I meander amidst such plenty, the question that comes to mind is, What about all the starving children in Africa? I know the remark is cliche…

BROSKIES FOR LIFE

There's that funny Geico commercial, have you seen it? The clip features two guys doing biceps curls across from one another at the gym. As they discuss insurance rates, they trade versions of the word "bro," knocking variations like broham and brofessor and brotein shake back and forth like ping pong balls. As the dialogue progresses, one of the two guys gets more and more musclebound until, by the the end of the commercial, he looks like a bouncer at your local strip club. Or like Jason, who used to be a bouncer himself. 
Jason, you see, really is my broskie. Half brother, actually. When I was in the sixth grade, just before I turned twelve years old, Jason came to live with our family. Shacking up with my parents, my two younger brothers and me meant moving to Los Angeles from his native Santa Barbara, where he had been living with his mother and step-father practically since our mutual father and his mother had gotten a divorce, which happened when Gloria (Jason's…

ISM OR ISN'T?

Today's question: "Ism or isn't?"

An ism is a "distinctive practice, system or philosophy, typically a political ideology or an artistic movement."  I'm sure you're familiar with the word fragment, since chances are that you cherish one or more isms of your own. 

If you are religious, then you are likely a member of Buddhism, Hinduism, Catholicism or Judaism. Is Islamism a word? Together the practitioners of these systems make up the world's majority of followers. If instead of religious you call yourself spiritual, then even your philosophy of life, if you have taken the time to develop one, is almost certainly colored by an ism. There are transcendentalism, existentialism, naive realism and nondualism, just to name a few. Don't find your ethos here? Perhaps you might wish to coin a neologism to describe your own view, and in the dictionary of the future you can hope to find the definition next to a picture of you.

Without further ado, allow m…

HOW NOT TO BE FULL OF SH$T

Back when I was in medical school, my high school buddy Jason called me one day from the hospital, where he had just been admitted with severe abdominal pain, mild fever and nausea. Doctors discovered that an inflamed appendix was to blame and scheduled emergency surgery to remove the obstructed organ and potentially save Jason's life, since a perforated appendix can be fatal. 

Jason wanted to know what caused his condition. A father of two young kids under the age of eight, Jason abides by the five-second rule. Whenever food falls to the floor, as it often does at the Goldfarb table, if you can snatch it from the ground within this allotted time, it is considered okay to consume. Of course the rule is not based on fact, since science tells us that bacteria cling instantly to fallen crumbs without watching the clock. But waste not want not, as they say, and the practice has from time immemorial saved many a tasty scrap. Doctors conjectured that Jason's appendicitis may have bee…

THE BRIGHT SIDE

If you've been keeping up with the news lately, you'll know driverless cars have arrived. Google has been testing autonomous vehicles on public roads, and Uber has used these modern day headless horsemen to pick up passengers in some cities. Perhaps you've even seen one such tech marvel idling next to you at a stop light. In a campaign designed to educate the public and raise awareness, Google released its safety report on driverless cars, which are less likely to be involved in collisions than vehicles driven by humans. Cars are simply more efficient and the ride smoother, without a mind at the wheel. I hardly drive myself, so I usually ignore these headlines, but the concept of driverless cars is a useful one.

First a bit about concepts. Whenever I discuss Ultimate Reality with my father, which we often like to do, whenever the conversation turns to the nature of what has been called the Absolute, Pure Awareness, Source of everything in which all is contained, or God - pa…