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EVEN THREESOMES CAN GET BORING


You are not who you think you are. This became ever clearer to me the other night while watching TV of all things. 

I should first tell you that my pet way to greet friends is to say "How you doing?" Not like Joey from Friends. The pronunciation is more like Hi dwing. I've done this on and off for as long as I can remember, and as far as I could tell nobody else riffed on this conventional pleasantry quite like me. Then, as I was watching the party scene from the movie Weird Science, Max and Ian enter Wyatt's house, and the friend says ... you guessed it. He stole my line. More like I stole his. Weird Science was perhaps my favorite movie back when I was 12 and 13. It was the first movie my mom let me see in Westwood without parental supervision, just my best friend, Jason, and I. And we both thought Downey Jr and his friend were so cool, right down to their "finsky" handshake, which my brother and I emulated practically until the day Justin died. So naturally this phrase, Hi dwing, became imprinted on my mind as a great way to say hey. And all along I had thought it was part of what made me unique! Of course, nobody has had all the experiences I have had, and my set of experiences does set me apart from the pack, as does yours you, but it is true that we come into this world as so many blank slates, and our behavior is influenced by our conditioning, everything from our smile to how we comb our hair and the words we use and the way we walk - everything, even if we cannot remember being conditioned! We are so many life hackers, to riff on another term.

Why get information second hand when you can be original? A recent segment from the popular TV show Ancient Aliens featured Apple inventor Steve Jobs. I wasn't aware that Jobs was a practitioner of Zen Buddhism, and purportedly he had the inspiration for all that the computer giant would become while meditating. You see, by clearing the mind of thoughts and turning within we can access the cosmic consciousness, which is the Universal Mind or Over Soul and as such is a repository for everything that has happened and will happen, not to mention all that lies in between. The in between part is the Now. And we are always in the Now. 

It's funny because writers are often urged by other writers to read a lot. I suppose this is for the sake of exposing oneself to ideas, in the hope that the mind may get stimulated, or even borrow another author's idea and riff of it, there's that word again. Riffing is certainly something I have been known to do, as have all the greats, though I am not that. But why concentrate on what's been done before when by turning within you can open your mind to concepts which have yet to be realized in this life. I know they say there is nothing new under the sun so why try to re-invent the wheel, but the purveyors of such sayings are dealing in cliches, and if you don't want to be derivative don't listen to them. If Jobs had let such hackneyed thinking dissuade him there'd be 500 million fewer phones sold in the last 10 years. And that would probably be a good thing, because we as a race have become way too distracted. There I go again arguing myself into a corner.

Speaking of arguing, I'm just making the argument for meditation. If you want to be inspired, you will be inspired if you commit to sitting silently and quieting your mind by steadying your gaze on a flame and focusing on your breathing. Do this on a regular basis and be amazed at what comes into your brain. But remember: whether what comes into your mind is the periodic table or the reminder to take out the trash, thoughts are just thoughts, here today and gone the next, and an even better state than the relatively real awaits which lies beyond thought. It is the realm of Being. Which is also the realm of pure bliss. Because at the root of the manifest universe is the unmanifest source of all that is, and THOU ART THAT! Get it? Got it? Good.

Some like to complicate meditation, because how can you charge students $500 to learn something which is natural to do? They say that the mind is like a monkey, always grasping at this and that, never still. And it's true there are many distractions, and the attention dances from one to the other. But this is only because the mind has not found a home. It has not found something which is so charming that it holds the mind's attention indefinitely.

Everyone has the ability to focus on a particular thing to the exclusion of all else if you give him or her something engaging and interesting. Babies get mesmerized by toys. Kids like video games. Adults who like to read enjoy a good mystery. Lovers can lose themselves in each other's eyes. Up until recently the only thing I could watch with undivided attention was porn, and yet once I hit my 40s even threesome action with anal grew boring and that is practically every dude's fantasy! 

The mind directed outward does seem unsettled, but this is only because it reflects the world with its unsettling variation. On the surface of the ocean the waves toss and turn a person to and fro, but dive deep enough down and what you get is stillness and silence. The mind turned inward reflects the tranquility of Being. To know perfect peace, enter the realm where knower, known and knowing all merge, and you still get your threesome.

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