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ORIGINALITY ONCE-REMOVED

I had the weirdest dream last night. But really it wasn't weird at all. My friend from high school - who after graduating had a near fatal automobile accident that left him partially paralyzed, then years later went to medical school where he developed a crippling drug habit that ruined his marriage to the girl he met in med school, then developed a drug-induced psychosis which left him homeless for a time and in trouble with the law - is with me in my living room. I lay out a huge amount of marijuana on the table in front of him. He used to like to smoke pot before he got into coke. I'm not sure why I supply him with so much weed. I'm not a pot smoker. Maybe to tempt him? Or am I just being a good host? I am with his ex-wife, who when they were married I always had a lovely time chatting with. We'd talk philosophy over white lines and he'd go into the other room and surf porn. This may sound like a dream but it is all part of my past.

In the dream, however, my friend unceremoniously eats all the weed. Devours it in rapacious mouthfuls. Leaves and stems and seeds are gushing out of his nose he's eating it so fast. And then from his nostrils green-tinged mucus starts to spill out with the weed. His ex-wife fears he is overdosing so we leave the room in a panic and around the corner declare our love for each other. We embrace, I grab her backside and give it several squeezes as if I were kneading dough, and we decide to have a love child that very day. Before we can make it into the bedroom I am aware of the presence of another guy. I don't know who he is. He's in his twenties perhaps and has close-cropped hair. Reasonably muscular. I realize that he's a camera man who had been filming my friend, and also that he and my friend's ex-wife (the dream future mother of my child) are an item. Our perfect little romance has suddenly become a love triangle. But was it ever really a romance? If there is one thing I'd never do, it's date a friend's ex-lady. Recipe for disaster. And I don't like sloppy seconds. The scenario gives way to something else.

It is easy for me to see where the inspiration for this dream of mine came from. I had just seen the film Inherent Vice. Towards the end the straight-laced cop played by Josh Brolin gives stoner detective Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix) a visit and seeing a mound of marijuana on the table decides to break his sobriety by eating it, all of it. A really funny scene. And the other day I watched Revenge of the Nerds where the probationary fraternity of socially-awkward brainiacs has a party and invites their sister sorority the Omega Mus who in the words of one frat bro are "a bunch of pigs." Of course once the party gets going it is the one who uttered this statement, Booger, who is dancing with two Mus at a time, and majestically squeezing their big asses. In The Heartbreak Kid, Ben Stiller marries a woman with a deviated septum, so whatever she eats has the annoying tendency to shoot straight out her nose, and in one scene the food is guacamole. So, green. And disgusting.

Weird how one's dreams borrow from the dreams of another, because that's what movies are, the writer's imaginings made real(istic). And here I thought I was original, but I guess I'm just a hack. However, my dream of being with my best friend's girl gave way to a dream in which I mated with Kelly, another former buddy's girl, who I also used to get along with capitally. So one dream of mine served as inspiration for another. I don't know that I'd call this original. It's maybe a case of originality once-removed. However, I have had dreams whose inspiration I never could explain. Did these emerge solely from my mind? Were my thoughts their fuel? I'm sure if I looked hard enough, the food for even my most original thoughts and dreams I'd likely find, either on Cinemax on Kindle.

Now if I can only understand why these dreams of mating with the exes of best friends!

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